Showing posts with label fear of chickens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear of chickens. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Day #288 Grandma's Chickens

I think I’m finally brave enough to share my chicken story with you. Please don’t laugh at me.

When I was little, maybe five years old, my grandmother, who was a Mississippi farm wife, told me to go down to the chicken coop and gather her a mess of eggs.

The coop was a ghastly, ammonia-saturated hellhole, very different from the houses of chickens who are raised with love and tender care. There wasn’t anything tender about Grandma. She raised chickens for their eggs and, on Sundays mostly, for their meat. I can remember her wringing their necks, an activity that generally sent me scurrying to hide in the woodshed with the kittens of whatever barn cat happened to be feeding the gene pool at the time.

The coop was raised off the ground two or three steps. Inside the creaky door were rows of nesting boxes in a series of tiers. The only tier I could reach was the bottom one, but Grandma had said there were plenty of eggs close down.

Did I tell you my grandmother was seventeen and a half feet tall? When she went in the chicken coop, all she had to do was glare down on those hens, push them aside, grab their eggs, and leave.

I was less than four feet tall, which put my head BELOW the level of those mama hens on their nests. I reached up to try to put my hand under the first hen. PECK! I withdrew my hand and tried again. PECK! SQUAWK! This time she left blood on my wrist.

“Grandma! I couldn’t get any eggs. The hens wouldn’t let me.”

Muttering under her breath about soft city girls, Grandma set aside the biscuits she was working on, strode down to the coop with me in tow, and said, “This is how you do it.” One swipe and the hen moved aside, squawking a bit, but somehow not coming up with that bloodthirsty attitude she’d had with me. 

I may be 5’7” now, but when I think of chickens, I still see that hooded eye and that rapacious beak coming down from above. Chickens are at least seven feet tall, I know in my heart of hearts, and they’re just waiting for me to try something sneaky. I hate to be cowardly, but I know when I’ve met my match.

BEEattitude for Day # 288:
       Blessed are those who recognize their own courage, like beekeepers who willingly open hives filled with thousands of us bees. We have stingers, and that makes beekeepers brave.

_______________________________ 
The teeny details:
my books:  http://www.franstewart.com Please buy your print books from an independent bookstore or directly from my website.
my eBooks for Kindle:  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=Fran+Stewart
my eBooks on Smashwords (for all other formats):  http://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=Fran+Stewart

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Day #285 Corn and Heirloom Tomatoes and Chickens and Dogs

Saturday I went to the farmer’s market in Lawrenceville as early as I could. The heat index was 102 degrees, and even that early I wilted. But when I came home with fresh-picked corn and heirloom Cherokee tomatoes, and a whole bunch of other stuff (like homemade treats for my two grand-dogs), I decided it was worth it.

Corn on the cob for lunch is my idea of heaven.

But the coolest thing about a farmer’s market, besides the food, is the conversations. One of the couples there live not too far from me, and they’ve invited me over to meet their chickens. I admitted to them that I was afraid of chickens (I’ll have to tell you my chicken story sometime), and Julie said they had the nicest chickens in the world. We’ll see about that. I’ll be sure to take pictures and share the adventure with you.

Now, why do I need to visit chickens? Well, in the book I’m writing, the 6th in my Biscuit McKee mystery series, Bob gets some beehives…

Why are you not surprised about that?

… and Maggie, Biscuit’s nearby neighbor, tries to convince Biscuit that Elmyra, her lead hen (whom Biscuit privately calls Vampirah) is not out to get her.

I can research the getting-beehives-for-the-first-time just fine (by simply reading my own blog!), but the chickens I thought I needed some help with.

And of course, I spoke to everyone who had a dog there at the market, telling them that WAG (the Walton Animal Group) would be running a raffle soon. The winner gets their dog in my book, and WAG will get all the proceeds of the raffle. I had to laugh because I’m writing a generic dog into the manuscript. I’ll fill in the details once the winner is announced. But one dog I saw today must have weighed 100 pounds, and another stood about 7” high full grown. I may have to do a lot of re-writing depending on who wins.

I’ll let you know when the raffle is up and running.


BEEattitude for Day # 285:
       Blessed are those who buy locally from farmers who grow crops that we can gather pollen and nectar from, for they shall all win!

_______________________________ 
The teeny details:
my books:  http://www.franstewart.com Please buy your print books from an independent bookstore or directly from my website.
my eBooks for Kindle:  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=Fran+Stewart
my eBooks on Smashwords (for all other formats):  http://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=Fran+Stewart