Monday, April 2, 2012

Day #538 Facing Up to Myself

Years ago I developed a severe allergy to eye makeup, and at the same time, the foundation I wore started making me itch. After that happened, all I had was my face, without the facade I'd been using. I was haunted on the inside, and the allergy made me "face up" to who I really was and what I was doing (or wasn't doing) with my life. Looking back, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time, though, it felt devastating. 
I had a home-based business selling cosmetics. I won’t tell you which brand, but think pink. I was doing well at it. 
I got up each morning, cleansed my face, moisturized, layered on foundation, blush, eyeliner, two (or three) shades of shadow, mascara (brown first, then tip the lash ends with black), lip liner and lipstick. 
Each evening I reversed the process, removing it all and moisturizing like crazy.
I did this even if I weren’t going anywhere except to take out the garbage.
One of the women in my sales unit, though, used no makeup whatsoever, except a little lipstick occasionally. She gave a speech once at a sales meeting in which she said that the skin care routine was enough for her because, essentially, she liked who she was and what she was doing with her life. “I feel completely comfortable in my skin,” is how she put it.
I remember being silently critical. You're dowdy. You could look so much better with a little blush and eyeliner and shadow and… How stupid I was. If I’m honest with myself, I also felt a twinge of envy that any woman could be so … so content. Her peaceful face infuriated me, because I could see no possibility of such peace in my own life.
I’m not saying that everyone who wears makeup has an unfulfilled life. Not at all. But I wish it hadn’t taken me so many years (and that allergic reaction) to wake up to my own possibilities.
BEEattitude for Day #538:
       Blessed are those who know the wonders they are capable of, for they shall rise each morning with enthusiasm, excitement, and expectancy, just the way we bees do.
The teeny details:
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AggiePete said...

I can relate to this blog so much. I'm always afraid someone I know will see me at the grocery without my make-up or in my old sweatsuit. Katie & I have a running joke that if someone sees one of us, we'll claim to be 'the other one'. Twins can do that - ha! But seriously if I'm not going to the office or church, I don't wear any make-up and feel just fine about it. Very good message - thanks!

Fran Stewart said...

Yes. The trick, I think, is to feel good about yourself all the time, not just when you "have your face on."